These are some of the humans you will meet in Frogmorton Culpepper Save the World - for aliens click here!
Frogmorton Culpepper is a thirty-something bachelor living with his overbearing mother and his cat Chloe.
He has a keen mind and a great deal of enthusiasm, which never came to light before because of his appalling academic record and exam results at school. Undaunted by constant insults from his teachers and classmates, he stayed on an extra year to re-sit his exams and managed to fail them with higher marks the second time around.
Never blessed with any great looks and burdened with an extremely stupid name, Frogmorton rarely seems to attract members of the opposite sex - a constant mystery to his mother who always tries to fix him up with any girl she happens to be talking to at the time.
Although his academic achievements at school were abysmal, Frogmorton is no idiot and has spent a lot of time and money pursuing a degree with the Open University, finding the work much easier now that he doesn’t have the distraction of all the teasing and name calling he suffered at school - teachers can be so cruel.
In fact Frogmorton is really something of a genius and, whilst working at the local university as a janitor, has secretly experimented in the environmental technology laboratory and stumbled across a solution to ozone depletion and a cure for the greenhouse effect. However, his boss, realising the potential of the process when Frogmorton demonstrates it to him, decides to steal the project and reap the huge rewards for himself.
Frogmorton’s desire to save the planet from destruction takes a sudden detour following a hologramic message beamed into his microwave oven from alien beings en route to destroy all life on the planet.
Frogmorton will need all the help he can get!
The beautiful and clever daughter of Professor Markham, the head of the Environmental Technology Department at Dawson University, Elaine Markham provides the story with the ‘love interest’. In spite of having the finest education money could buy and being taught to appreciate all the finer things in life, Elaine’s tastes remain extremely simple - which has got to be good news for Frogmorton Culpepper who has fancied her since the very first day she ignored him. She has never been short of admirers, but finds most of them to be shallow trophy hunters who like the idea of a pretty girl on their arm and who get intimidated when she demonstrates her intelligence.
Driven by her love of nature and a desire to make a difference, Elaine is forging ahead in a career in environmental technology. As a student she spent a lot of time protesting about the way governments were abusing the environment, but soon realised that the best protest would be to actually do something about the environment in a meaningful way - and get the government of the day to pay her a handsome salary at the same time. She is extremely competent in her field and will go a long way.
She starts to admire Frogmorton when he demonstrates an environmental experiment to her father, but it goes horribly wrong. Elaine goes round to see Frogmorton to console him after her father humiliates him over the failed demonstration. If she had known what she was letting herself in for - she would have gone round to see him sooner!
A woman who has been a martyr to her son and her own personal hygiene ever since Frogmorton’s father left her all those years ago, she is a character with no shame and slightly bizarre habits.
Despite all her shortcomings (she is extremely uncouth), she is a dedicated mother and ultimately knows what is best for her son whether he agrees with her or not. However, the events unfolding in the book leave her at best confused and amongst other things she understandably mistakes an FBI agent for a salesman from the well-known (always closing down) furniture store MFI.
Gavin Woosner always wanted to work for NASA. Unfortunately when we meet him, he is not far away from being sacked from its employ. A situation neither his degree in Astrophysics and Origami nor his receiving a genuine signal from extraterrestrial intelligence can help to resolve.
Being a journalist isn’t a job to Susan Likely - it is life itself. She believes that people deserve to know the truth and does her utmost to make the truth known. However, the local paper she works for probably isn’t the best organ for such a determined reporter to be working for. Most of its disinterested readership wouldn’t believe the truth if it hit them in the face with a 3-mile wide asteroid.
Rhona Willett is recruited to Frogmorton's world-saving cause due to her previous contact with alien visitors. The fact that she resides in the Moorhampton Hospital for the Criminally Insane is just a minor detail.
After his illustrious spying career in the KGB, it was obvious to the Americans that they should employ Alexander Korinyakov in the FBI - after all, he knew more about things American than most Americans did.
Korinyakov is given the job of bringing Gavin Woosner back to the United States after Woosner absconds to the UK with NASA data.
A flame-haired beauty and psychopath who finds the perfect outlet for her talents working for the CIA.
A nursery teacher turned would-be paid assassin.
A British spy with a plain sounding name. Any resemblance to James Bond is coincidental. Besides which, he drives an ice-cream van rather than an Aston Martin.
Well what can one say?